Guava Tsu 3-Pack Pre-Rolls by Humboldt Family Farms

96 Points

Do you know what brand I saw most of my fellow Budists carrying around while up at the California State Fair?

Humboldt Family Farms. Specifically, their Guava Tsu pre-rolls.

If someone is feeling too anxious after smoking high-potency products, the solution is Guava Tsu. 

Meet an attendee who hasn’t consumed for years, as using cannabis has been stressing them out? Guava Tsu.

And that last example was actually my own. I connected with a sommelier outside of our hotel in Sacramento…and after just ~3-4 puffs, he was on cloud nine again, eternally grateful that the Guava restored his ability to consume. My wife barely consumes these days and even she was game to try it.

Needless to say, this premium sungrown cannabis, cultivated by their partners at Neukom Family Farms, should be on your list to try next. I’ve known Scott, HFF’s Founder, for only about a year now but he’s rapidly become one of my favorite people in this industry. 

Hey- the quickest way to win the favor of the Budist who does album pairings is to have QR codes on your tubes that link to different playlists, each one tied to a specific cultivar. 

Neither HFF nor Neukom is willing to compromise on their values: cannabis that embodies community, environmental stewardship, and the craft of sungrown cultivation. The Neukoms, Amy and Jacques, have maintained farm operations since the late 90s, serving some of the best organic produce and flowers in the county. OCAL, Sun + Earth certified, no spraying of chemicals, no bottled nutrients, no-till farming techniques, and natural pest control tactic (bugs!).  

And all of this on just 5,000 ft sq. They are the very definition of doing things “as nature intended”. 

Guava Tsu is a cross of Guava Burmese (sativa, bred by Equilibrium) x Sapphire Tsu (sativa-dominant, bred by Biovortex) at the optimal balance of 4% CBD and 18% THC. Both of these breeders aren’t household names- but they offer hyper-rare genetics, often hybrid, heirloom, and landrace. They’re a “breeder’s breeder”, two teams that our industry’s most senior genetics/cultivation experts know they can trust.

The first trait you’ll notice is its incredibly pungent guava nose, reflective of the terpenes found in the best guava rosins I’ve ever sampled. This flower smells just like a guava pastelito, fresh from the streets of Little Havana. The dry hit tastes TOO fruity, TOO fresh for there not to be added bottled terpenes poured all over this- but alas, this is as natural as you can get.

The burn leaves something to be desired. You may have to relight it a few times. It can be pretty harsh as well, leaving me with some rawness in the back of my throat. This did cost it a few points but shouldn’t be a dealbreaker for anyone.

Its effects are world-class. I’ve smoked one of these before to successfully eliminate a headache. Its extremely calming, even with its heavily sativa lineage. You’re not smoking this to blast off. If you’re seeking that, HFF also has Super Sour Diesel and hash-infused Maui Wowi prerolls.  

This may be way too morbid- but if I lose someone close to me, this is what I’d want to smoke after the funeral to provide me with some relief. It melts away physical and mental pain, similar to that Autumn Brands Blue Limonene I’ve previously covered. 

A three-pack of their 0.5g prerolls, totaling 1.5g, is available at just $15-20. You’ll spend just as much on one or two of the store-brand prerolls, which will be nowhere near this level of quality. 

Don’t sleep on these guys. At very least, it's the perfect option to keep on hand for infrequent consumers to try. This will stack up next to Pink Jesus and Pink Boost Goddess any day.

96 points.

Album Pairing: Rubber Soul - The Beatles

“In My Life” will always be able to center me, regardless of how I’m feeling. 

The Beatles started smoking cannabis around the time Help! was made- and if you haven’t seen the film, its pretty damned obvious. Did Dylan turn them on? Or was it some random drummer from Liverpool? Who cares! Those tokes catalyzed what was merely a great band to become fucking immortal. 

Shout out to Professor Glenn Gass of Indiana University. I’ve just learned you’re retired and no longer teaching History of the Beatles but your legacy will live on in the hearts and minds of your students.

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