4-Pack Pink Jesus Pre-Rolls by Sonoma Hills Farm

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98 Points

If you use cannabis, you’re going to love Pink Jesus.

If you don’t really use cannabis anymore, as perhaps you’ve been finding it too strong or it’s been making you anxious- you’re still going to love Pink Jesus. 

There are precious few products (of any type) I’ve shared with friends that have elicited such an overwhelmingly positive response. Sonoma Hills Farms is setting the standard for craft sun-grown flower, an embodiment of the connoisseur culture we’re here for.

Up at their 60-acre regenerative Petaluma farm, they do things differently. SHF’s seasonal cannabis releases are notoriously small with just a handful of cultivars available, a bit like many of the small-batch wine producers who dot this coastal region of Sonoma County. They’re growing fresh produce on-site which they donate to local restaurants and are home to an assortment of farm animals (cattle, sheep, chickens- plus a bee apiary). Their secret weapon is Chef Aaron Keefer, who was directly responsible for handling the ingredients supply chain of Thomas Keller. You’ve likely heard of The French Laundry, Per Se, Bouchon…he’s comfortably one of the top 5 living American chefs/restaurateurs and demands only the finest quality available.  

No small detail is exempt from receiving care and attention. Take a look at their paper selection, which they source from a luxury paper mill located in a small mountain village at the base of the Pyrenees. No shake. No trim. Just 100% Sun & Earth and OCal-certified-like-Organic, single strain flower fills these pre-rolls. Flower is only milled, never ground. Sizable donations to compassion programs (military vets, at-risk communities) are an annual occurrence. These aren’t merely suggestions. They are commandments. 

The stories about Pink Jesus are true. It has a unique, rare lineage, consisting of Pink 2.0 x Starfighter x Heirloom OG. You might have even seen their Pink Jesus uninfused ice cream collab with (Bay Area legend) Humphry Slocombe. 

The dry hit is subtle with lavender and packs a botanical punch. Bitterness. Sourness. Spearmint. A touch of soap. There is a distinctive earthy, woodiness to it as well, reminding me of those Pinewood Derby car kits. I didn’t get much fruit, if any. It smells and tastes like the best fresh backyard homegrown you’ve ever had. The master grower’s headstash. 

The smoke itself is rich, perfumed, and herbaceous with notes of rosewater and root beer. I can imagine some may be disappointed that it doesn’t perfectly mimic a pink Starburst. 

Its high delivers the full spectrum of effects commonly associated with sativas and does so in a way that doesn’t overpower. Instead, it integrates comfortably to meet you where you’re at. 

Relax…and let Pink Jesus take the wheel.

Now, does everyone enjoy a more sativa-leaning high? Of course not.

Was their use of cardboard packaging for a pack of prerolls a mistake? It's debatable. No one is arguing that freshness isn’t critical, especially as we’re seeing brands start to market around their 4%+ terpene content, but SHFs believes a supply chain designed to preserve quality, one that gets their flower into consumers' hands faster by printing their own boxes, is the best way to address this problem. I’d tend to agree…as adding a little plastic shrink-wrap isn’t the panacea that many seem to feel it is. Prerolls are about convenience. If I wasn’t willing to sacrifice a little on flavor, I’d have opted for the jarred eighth instead.

But answer me this: how often are you physically taking out your phone to show off photos of a plant? Whenever I spread the gospel of Pink Jesus, its unavoidable. Many haven’t witnessed such shades of fuchsia/magenta before.  

The biggest surprise is its affordability, coming in at just $25-35 per 4-pack (3.2g).

This is an appropriate choice for consumers of any experience level. Expect to hear a chorus of “I can’t stop smiling” if you’re sharing with friends. My parents don’t consume but if they ever visited and expressed a desire to, this is what I’d smoke with them.

98 points and I'll defend the hell out of this score. A clear Top 5 in its category, a memorable and original smoke that also won't break the bank.

Album Pairing: Parallel Lines by Blondie

Iconic. They really hadn’t broken through in the US until “Heart of Glass” dropped. 

Side note: “Call Me” actually isn’t featured on any Blondie albums. Giorgio Moroder tapped Debbie Harry to sign/compose the lyrics (which she knocked out in a few hours) for the American Gigolo soundtrack.

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