Strawberry Lipgloss Infused Pre-Roll by Martyjuana

95 Points

“They say my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin’.”

In 2008, was Lil Mama referring to cannabis when she dropped this famous line? No, not likely- but hey, it still kind of works.

Yes, my dear readers, we’re now in the era in which “Strawberry Lipgloss” is a perfectly acceptable name for a cultivar. I already like it a hell of a lot more than “Permanent Marker” or “Spray Paint”, so what can I say, I’m fine with it, even if it feels a little weird to say you’re smoking on Lip Gloss.

Martyjuana rocks. Their 27-acre farm sits on top of a mountaintop in Mendocino and offers some of the best sun-grown flower in the county. Founder Marty Clein started this operation to provide medicine for both him and his wife Laura, who suffered from a laundry list of debilitating health conditions that left her with chronic pain. Even before Martyjuana became a brand, this duo was growing organically for local medical patients. I mean, isn’t that exactly who you’d WANT to be purchasing from? True legacy experts who are patients themselves, championing sustainable farming practices and putting the medicinal value of the plant first? I have a suspicion that they’ve never been included - and will never end up - on the DCC’s ever-growing list of products recalled for contaminates. And maybe it's the inner hippie in me talking here but the fact that they plant and harvest based around the moon cycles is pretty damned cool.

If that all doesn’t resonate with you, I don’t know why you’re still here reading this. I’ve said this before about players like Sonoma Hills Farm and Frogville Farms- but this is the type of product that Budist exists for, as they deserve your attention even if you’ve been smoking nothing but Jeeters your whole life (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Step outside your box! Understand that product “quality” is driven by a lot more than just that THC % number! It’s not a binary choice- you can absolutely love indoor bud covered in added terpenes and still be a sun-grown truther.

I’ve tangoed with Martyjuana before, as they submitted to the California State Fair Cannabis Awards, and was left thoroughly impressed. Now, they’re up for Farmer’s Cup consideration with this 0.7g infused preroll of Supreme Gelato crossed with Ogre Berry. Strawberry Lipgloss is a completely new cultivar for me as well, so buckle up, as we’re on this tasting journey together today.

First off, the packaging is unremarkable. It's a basic black plastic tube with sparse info printed on it…and that may be a problem for some, especially as there is virtually no information I can find anywhere (including their website) on the infusion, outside of the fact that it's “hash”. Compared to the Cotton Censored Hash Hole I reviewed earlier this week, the difference is night-and-day. How do they get away with it? Well, you can find Martyjuana’s infused prerolls as low as $5, typically at or around $10 while that Cotton Censored will set you back a full ~$45.

As we all know, it's what's on the inside that counts. As I crack open the tube, I get notes of fresh-cut grass and fruit leather (including strawberry). There is some spice to it: a little cinnamon, a hint of clove, and a dash of skunk. I feel like I’m at a cafe up in Mendo eating a Belgian waffle. The dry hit is teeming with smooth, sweet vanilla- specifically vanilla Tootsie Roll candy. It's not too far off from the same tasting notes you’d see on a Gelato or Wedding Cake. It is almost as if you took a few different types of pie to-go (chocolate, vanilla, berry) but all of them were put into the same box.

This joint smoked incredibly well and produced an upbeat, adventurous high that will leave you ready to take on the world- provided you have the tolerance for it. As someone plagued by a high tolerance, I was shocked by how strongly I felt these effects, even just halfway through the joint. My jaw is on the floor knowing that there is at least one shop (Kure in Ukiah) selling these for $4.97. It even left me a bit jittery, with a wicked case of cotton mouth, and a lingering aftertaste like I’d taken an oil tincture.

I’m attending a fire benefit concert tonight at the Palladium. I can confidently say that I’d rather have one or two of these instead of that Hash Hole I featured in my last review - and that Hash Hole earned an extremely respectable 88 points.

Simply…wow. Marty and Laura, you’ve got something special here. If I put together a box with some of the best our state has to offer, this would be included under “best value preroll”. Do I still prefer the (Golden Bear Winning) Whitethorn Rose rosin-infused preroll from The Pairist? Yep- but the margin is slimmer than you’d think, this one is a sleeper hit.

95 points.

Honestly, I think that score could be even higher if they just made it a bit larger. I just needed the effects to stick around a bit longer to go beyond that.

Album Pairing: Mutant Beatz Compliation, Complied by David Wolin & Mr. Morgan

I’m buzzing nicely, so 1997’s Mutant Beatz is perfectly matching my tempo right now, leaving me sufficiently hyped for tonight’s show. I didn’t know anyone featured on this when I first bought it based on the cover (yep! we’ve all done it, own it!) but my gamble paid off in dividends. “Abstrakt hip-hop, future funk, and science fiction soul” mesh perfectly with the intensity of Strawberry Lipgloss. I can’t say enough about Black Pearl’s “Trife” (Jurassic Mix), it hits comically hard. The D&B slam poetry of “Untitled” by Euphonic vs. Soothsayer & Dr Israel was clearly way before its time. “Twilight” by Survival Soundz is swimming in jazzy, funky, soul. If you can find this one, which is no easy feat, you should snag it.

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